What Now? (poem)

To those who have made me who I am today, the anger,  the rage,  the sadness,  the pain.  
To every single one of you who started the game, 
To all that gave the orders,  the instructions,  the main
Idea that strength was to feign 
Happiness while breaking and falling apart, 
Destroying lives,  creating tragedy,  killing souls and hearts. 
To all of you who preyed on me when I was weak, 
Killing dreams,  and goals,  making my future bleak,
I ask you now what to do in the dead of night,
When I wake in cold sweats and can't sleep due to fright.   When the souls that I've taken come for me in my peace,  when the outcomes of my decisions haunt me in my sleep. 
When every dream I had is shattered and I feel I can't go on,  I ask you now what do I do?  Where do I find my song?  
All I want is to die or to kill  or to maim, 
To cause tears and laugh seeking joy through pain, 
How do I live now that all I see is the dark in my life,
Not the smiles or the laughter but the heartache and strife,
What will you do after creating this monster I've become, 
What will you do,  when after you,  I come?